Celestial Spectre
by Kin Of Wolves
Summary: When prayers are answered, miracles happen. But is that always the case?
1. Broken Beginnings

_**Celestial Spirit**_

 _ **Chapter 1: Broken Beginnings**_

 **Sirius.**

"Come on, you can do better than that!" I yelled, my voice echoing strangely around the chamber I was in. I heard Neville scream something to Harry, but I couldn't hear what because of those bastard Death Eaters. I heard a shriek from a couple meters behind me, and saw one of them run past my peripheral vision and get hooked back as if someone stuck a fishing rod down his robes and hoisted him backwards. Damn, how Alice and frank would be proud of their son, he really has turned out to be a remarkable boy. It's a shame he only gets to see them in the hospital, confined to the lifeless existence they currently suffer. I hope one day that I can see how Harry is going to turn out, as Neville is already a 100% combination of Alice and Frank. No doubt about it. From the corner of my eye I can see the black curtain of the Veil that's been holed up in the Ministry as long as the Ministry itself. Then a spark of red hits me. By some sort of poetic irony, the colours resembled the life around me. One red spark and a Black enters the dark, nothingness of Death. Black is met by black. I knew as soon as I started to taunt my favourite cousin Bellatrix that I was going to die. My dreams of growing old with Harry and his children by my side were effortlessly futile. Harry. He's already lost so much. His parents, maybe even the chance of life if he can't defeat Voldemort. But I don't believe that for a second. Harry will have a chance at a normal life. The life I so desperately wanted for him still breathes the same air that I no longer do. I turn and face my godson, the only reason I had for obeying Dumbledore and staying in that hell house. As I turn, I see his face, and my heart shatters. There is quite literally blood, sweat and tears running all over his face. He is frozen, but I can't tell with what. I see Lupin run over to Harry and put his arms around him from behind, as Harry still stands there silently. Well he could be screaming for all I know, I can't hear a fucking thing. All of these thoughts in my mind ran through my head like an hourglass, which if it was an hourglass of life, mine would be desolate. I don't particularly pray to any deity that may or may not be up wherever the hell it wants to be, but as I fell through the black curtain that personified Death, I prayed. I prayed for only two things in particular, the first; Harry. I prayed that wherever he went, the luck that obviously eluded me and denied my very existence followed him around like a sick puppy. If anyone deserves it, its Harry. The second thing I prayed for was for myself. Hey I'm dead cut me a fucking break. I prayed that wherever the hell I was going; it would have some sort of viewing area so I could watch how things turn out. Maybe if I'm really lucky, I can relive some memories too. You never know, it could happen. I fade away through the nothingness of the Veil, and I wait. I wait. I wait. I'm still waiti- CAN SOMETHING FUCKING HURRY UP PLEASE?! Wait. What if this is it? What if this is the existence beyond the Veil? Maybe a chance at a decent Death could be achieved anywhere but the Ministry of Magi- okay maybe not, I can see a light. You know one of those fish that have that sort of lightbulb to attract prey? That sort of thing. I know it was weak, but I was so desperate for anything but nothing, that I followed it. As I walked the light expanded, as if opening its arms and welcoming me, which was a nice touch. I walked until the light completely engulfed me, and sat down. There was a sofa, and sat down and ravelled at the familiarity of it until I put my hands over the head of the other seat and noticed a rivet in the cushion. It came flooding back. I went to turn the cushion over, to confirm what I already knew. There was an orange stain and a cut mark, where I tried and failed to cut the stain out of the cushion just over 20 years ago. This was the sofa of Mr. and Mrs. Potter. I panicked and wondered what fresh hell I had been spawned into now, while simultaneously wondering if there was a way out of here, when all of a sudden;

"Glad you could make it, why not have a seat? I'm sure you remember where my spot is don't you?"

I spun around, hardly believing what it was I was hearing. I wasn't breathing. I couldn't. There they were. Standing right before me. James Potter holding a tray of Cauldron Cakes, and Lily Potter holding a pitcher of Pumpkin Juice and 3 glasses, a tear rolling down her cheek. She was still wearing the same clothes from the night she was murdered. So was James, except he was wearing the ridiculous, broad, but beautiful smile I'd missed for so long. The last thing I heard before I burst into tears was;

"Don't spill any of it this time! I can guarantee that you remember the hiding I got don't you? It's your turn this time, I'm afraid."


	2. Picking up the many broken pieces

_**Chapter 2: Picking up the many broken pieces**_

Sirius.

Both of them set down the things they were holding, and came and sat down next to me. They were so close I could touch them. As though reading my mind Lily put her arm around me, and I buried my head in her shoulder. It'd been so long since I'd had a really deep cry, probably since Lily and James were murdered. But here they were now, helping me through it. Just like old times. I tilted my head up to her, and up to James and said what had been haunting me ever since Voldemort entered the Potter Household;

"I'm sorry" I hoped they could see the regret and hatred I had for myself in my eyes. Silently I pleaded for them to realise I was being truthful.

"What for, Padfoot?" James asked me, a confused look on his hairy face.

"I'm sorry for not being there for Harry until he found me 2 years ago. I'm sorry I didn't have the strength to avoid everything and care for him, even if he didn't realise that was what I was doing. I'm sorry I ever let that fucking rat Wormtail near the secret you had chosen me to protect. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to stay with Harry now. You don't understand how sorry I am. Please. Please forgive me. I've never loved anything as much as I had loved you two, and when you had gone how much I loved Harry." I broke down harder than I ever had, realising that I should have been stronger, braver. I was a Gryffindor for fucks sake! I should have been everything Harry deserves, but I wasn't. If I wasn't already dead, I would wish I was. I do wish I was.

"Sirius. Look at me." Lily said, it had been so long since I had heard her voice. She spoke softly, as if she felt nothing but affection for the disgrace of a man she saw before her.

"You should not have these feelings that you do towards yourself. You cared for Harry when we could not, you did everything we couldn't. I feel nothing but love towards you Pad. Don't ever say you weren't strong enough, because you were as strong as you needed to be. Don't ever feel that you didn't do enough, because you did a hell of a lot more than we did!"

"BECAUSE OF HOW FUCKING STUPID I WAS!" I screamed, jumping up from the sofa, not wanting these feelings of gratitude that I was receiving.

"IT'S MY FAULT! WORMTAIL BETRAYED BECAUSE I DOUBTED MYSELF. I WAS NEVER STRONG ENOUGH, NEVER! But I should have been. I should have been everything you deserved, but I wasn't. How could you only have feelings of Love towards me, Lily? Due to MY actions I basically betrayed you and your son! How?! How can you still love me?" The outburst shocked even myself, but just then I realised that all those feelings had been bottled up inside me ever since October 31, 1981. I couldn't handle this, I got to my feet and turned to walk away. I couldn't face them after this. I felt a strong arm grab mine, and spin me around. It was James. He looked angry. Oh fuck.

"First of all Padfoot," he said, starting what sounded like one of his rants that normally ended with punches being thrown and faces being pummelled.

"Never, and I mean NEVER! Talk to my wife how you just did. And Second." He pulled me in for the tightest hug I had ever received, and I was shocked. This is not where I was expecting this to go at all.

"Drop the hatred you have for yourself Pad, I couldn't have done a better job of raising Harry in 15 years as you've done in 3. So listen to me, okay? Me and Lily love you, and we don't hate you in the slightest, so ask yourself this; why do you?"

That question hit me hard. Why? Why did I hate myself? Obviously there was the reason of me failing an entire family, but if James said he himself couldn't do a better job, then why focus only on the negatives? There had to be some positives in there somewhere, surely? And there was, just thinking of how Harry and I had spent some of our short years together brought back a flood of memories. Harry at the train station, and James' smile on his face as he saw me bark and play with pigeons. I've never had more fun with him. And the smile he wore melted my heart, despite the multiple warnings from Mad-Eye about safety and all that bullshit.

"You don't need to answer it immediately, just think about it. You know what those muggles say, the first step to fixing a problem is acknowledging that there is one. So let us help you fix it." James was sounding more and more like the side of him that me, Prongs and that rat wanker that I refuse to name rarely ever saw. The side that promised endless comfort, and zero judgement.

"Lily, I'm sorry for the way I shouted at you. I hope you can forgive me, I wasn't angry at you, I promise. Just myself." I apologised, and based on the look on her face and the brightness of the smile she gave me, I could tell I was forgiven.

"Pad, there's nothing to forgive. I was never mad at you, and I never will be. I owe you too much. Now come here, I haven't had a proper cuddle yet." She opened her arms, but before I could accept her offer, I needed to clean myself up.

"Textura", I said the name of the spell for tissues and one immediately responded by showering me with Kleenex. Thanks wand, I can't even to begin to count how many times it had had my back. I wiped my face the Kleenex, surprising myself by having to repeat the incantation because I had cried and snotted everywhere. Disgusting. I threw the tissues on the floor, where they disappeared as soon as they touched it, and stepped into Lily's embrace. She smelt like she always did, of the forest, and I sighed with bliss. This is the way it should be, no violence, only endless love.


	3. A different perspective

_**Chapter 3: A different perspective**_

James.

Being dead sucks. Yeah sure I've got Lily here with me, who is the undoubtable love of my life, but without Harry here I feel… Incomplete. Obviously I'm not saying I wanted him to die on Halloween that night, because the fact that he survived makes me the proudest Dad in the world, and anyone who tries to argue will get smacked. But I don't feel whole.

"What's up Babe?" Lily asks, staring at me with that cute half concentrated/half confused face that I fell in love with. She's so cute.

"I don't know; I don't feel right. Something's wrong." I replied. I'm nervous, why am I nervous? As if sensing my unease, He appeared in front of us, no expression on the void of the face.

"Mr and Mrs. Potter, I regret to inform you that your best friend, Sirius Black has officially left the Land of the Living." Death said, the deep voice that expresses no emotion as promised, gave us nothing.

"Well done mate! Have you been under a fucking rock these past 2 days?" I said, playfully teasing Death, one of my favourite past times in the Land of the Dead. Cliché name I know, but the most effective for this place.

BANG! I fly backwards. Lily sighs as I do so.

"Really guys? We're gonna do this again?" She says, sounding annoyed at the frequency of said past time.

"Fuck off James, you shit bag." Death says, a hint of emotion in his voice. Contrary to popular belief, Death is actually a nice guy. However, Similar to popular belief, He has powers beyond anything any Wizard or Witch have ever obtained, although one in particular has tried for the past 30 years to achieve this power, and has actually came close. If it wasn't for Dumbledore…

"Could it be?! You're… FEELING?!" I'm doing the best Grinch impression I could here. Yes, I've heard of the Grinch, what else do you think I'm gonna do for 15 years? Watch DVDs of course!

In an attempt to stop the both of us before we start "fighting" (if you can call it that, it's more like Death takes my limbs and leaves me to hobble around for a few hours), she asks Death;

"So Sirius is dead? Or is he not? We saw him go through the Veil, so what happens now?" She sounds worried. Fuck.

"Well, this is where it gets confusing. As he is no longer in the Land of the Living, but is not dead, so he can't get to the Land of the Dead, he is in a place only few have ventured, none of them willingly."

"You're right, this is confusing! So what is that place then?"

"If both of you will come over here, while James still has limbs that is, I will show you."

We shuffled over there, until we saw Death wave his hand (bone?) and a sort of projector appeared. On this projector, there was a completely white cube. Death said something in which he informed us was "Lingua Antiquorum", and it zoomed in. There, on this projector, was my best friend Sirius Black. He was walking as if without purpose, and as we watched him, my breath caught. He looked so… Unprepared. We watched as he learned of the battle at the Ministry (led by Harry, I was so proud), that he had to rush to get there, but here he looked sloppy. Maybe it was the projector.

"This is De Neutrali Genere Quid Factum est terra, and it is here that Sirius Black will remain until he learns of his fate, and makes the hardest choice of his life. Be warned, watching this will be painful, as until this spectacular feat is achieved, the person you know as Sirius Black will vanish before your very eyes, as his mind plays cruel tricks on him due to the essence of the room, and if he doesn't sort out everything, then he will spiral into insanity until his body wastes away to nothing."

Well, that didn't really leave much to the imagination.

"Don't worry, Sirius is one of the strongest people I know, both mentally and physically, he's got this one in the bag!" I assured Lily, even I could hear the confidence in my voice.

"Actually James, I wouldn't be so sure. Because, and I generally am sorry to tell you this, but the last person to enter the Veil was someone you may have heard of, as she was considered to be one of the brightest Witches in history." Death sounded sincere, and I wished he would have told us who it was, instead of wondering until one of us asked the question that both of us wanted the answer to.

"Who was it, Death?" Lily asked.

That was quick.

"The last person to enter the Veil was Rowena Ravenclaw, and I'm afraid to say she wasted away in a frenzy of lunacy."

I stayed silent. I was not expecting that fucking answer. Wow. How do I respond. I can't hear anything, am I in shock? Death muttered something in that language again, and the camera repositioned itself in order to get a better view of Sirius.

I broke out of whatever hold shock had on me, and turned my head to see him, just as a solitary tear rolled down his hairy cheek.

"I'm really sorry guys, and just know it never normally happens this fast, but the madness has already begun to creep itself into his mind." Death informed us.


	4. Unexpected Advances

Lily

"You mean Sirius is going crazy?" I asked, my voice sounding graver than I was feeling, which shocked me.

"Yes I'm afraid, I would tell you there is still time to fix this, but honestly I don't know. Sirius is displaying the behaviour of someone who has been in 'De Neutrali Genere Quid Factum est terra', or 'Land of the Middle' for weeks longer than he has been in there, so I can't say for sure what's going to happen, or when it's going to happen."

"So what you're telling me is that Death, the most powerful being in history, and the most powerful being to ever exist, doesn't know WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?" James practically screamed. Good going James, anger him even more.

As if it could hear me, Death exploded. Bright strobing lights erupted from within him, terrifying us, and we were thrown backwards. I brought my head up to see Death swinging a giant mallet over its head, and bringing it down onto James's prone, stationery figure.

"Wingardium Leviosa!" I screamed, making sure that the mallet didn't touch James, and as I did that Death looked at me, despite not having any facial features, the look it gave me made my body shiver and seize up and I fell to the floor convulsing. Is it possible to die when you're already dead? Guess I'm about to find out…

James

Lily's scream awoke me. Maybe I took it too far this time, but it's frustrating when you're watching your best friend in the entire world slowly descending into madness, all the while knowing there's not a fucking thing you can do about it. I heard something heavy drop to the floor and then Lily took a huge breath. I turned to see what was happening to her, and I saw Death with its head tilted towards her, and Lily seizing up, reminding me of when I got killed by Tom Riddle. Her wand dropped to the floor and milliseconds later she did the same. My instincts kicked in and I grabbed a giant mallet that was on the floor for some reason. I took a run up and cracked the tool into the face of Death -Wow that sounds cool- and Death flew backwards with his arms outstretched until he landed hard on its back. I ran over to Lily to see her let out a massive breath.

"You okay baby?" I asked. I was nervous about how she was feeling because honestly, I had no fucking clue what could be happening inside her at this point.

"I'm fine, it's just everything is numb at the minute, like waking up from Death."

"Speaking of which…" I said, turning around to find Death on its feet, hands glowing with what looked like… Electricity?

Lily

"Look mate, I didn't want to do that, okay? I'm sorry. But don't touch Lily, because that's one thing I won't stand for. So as long as she's left out of it… Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough." James goaded. I've only felt love as powerful as I did right now for one person; Harry. But here James was taking my breath away like he did when I first fell in love with him. He was still stupid. Who willingly picks a fight with Death?!

"I'm not going to fight you James, I have too much respect for you. But this is a warning, don't ever cross me again, or I will resurrect you into your coffin just for you to die an agonizing death all over again." Death informed him. We both knew he had that power.

"And I'm sorry for my outburst but as James said I am the most powerful being to have existed on the earth, so I'm sure you can understand why it's frustrating to not have any inclination as to what's happening." Death said, sounding as sincere as when we first met.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have another appointment." Death retreated into the white light before slowly fading away.

"So what do we do now?" James asked me.

"How the hell do I know? What is there to do, except watch Sirius slowly turn…" I couldn't finish the sentence, but I knew James gathered the gist of what I meant.

"No. There must be something we can do – I can do!"

"You know I want to help him as well don't you? I don't want this to happen to him, he deserves so much more than that." I said, depressing myself by thinking of the worst-case scenario for Sirius.

"I know you do babe, but I'm just… I'm running out of both ideas and hope here."

"I'll tell you what, I'll go see if I can talk to Death, maybe see if I can get to Sirius and warn him about what's going to happen to him, or something – I don't know, I just want to help him." I said, whilst being secretly wary of any deals you could make with Death.

"No, if you're going to talk to Death I'm going with you, I don't want you going alone." James said, getting to his feet.

"I'm perfectly capable of going on my own James!" I snapped. Why? Why did I snap?

"Oh. Okay, fine go alone then." James replied, that lost puppy look in his eyes.

"Okay, I'll see you later then. I love you." I told James.

"You too gorgeous." He replied.

And off I went to see if I could barter with Death. Always a terrible plan, but the only one I had. I apparated into his office, and went to the door I could hear him speaking in, where another voice I recognised from somewhere replied. After knocking 3 times fast, I opened the door to find Death sitting at a desk, looking at me. At least I think it was, who can tell. I took a glance at the occupant of the chair the visitors side of the desk and my mind froze. What the fuck was Regulus Arcturus Black doing in Death's office?


End file.
